Letters from Rifka

It isn't true, if that's what you're thinking! I haven't dropped off the planet! I'm immersed in life at College of the Ozarks in SW Missouri, so I don't find time to post here very often. My official blog is at http://rebeccablogs.blogspot.com.

Hope everyone's New Year is off to a good start.
Even though I don't manage to post to LJ much anymore, I still lurk, so keep writing! I love to hear everyone's news.

In my lit class this semester, entitled "Classical Ideals of Character", we are examining the concepts of virtue and honor, and the definition of happiness, through the lens of Homer and Aristotle. In Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, he posits that man's purpose is to reason. A man's ability to reason well enables him to enjoy a happy life, because by reasoning well, a man will act well. Virtue is demonstrated by action, not merely intention, so a reasoning man will be a man of good and virtuous action, and thus a happy man.

But here is a dilemma I brought up with the professor:

How do we as Christians perceive the relationship between reason and revelation?

Aristotle's belief is, if I understand correctly, that man's function is to reason, and to reason well. His ability to reason well will enable him to live a happy life. But to be happy and fulfilled in life, a man must do more than reason well; he must know God. Reason plays a part in understanding God and His ways, because God Himself is reasonable.

The Apostle Paul, however, seems to challenge this idea when he asks the Corinthians, "Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of the world? Hath not God made foolish the wisdom [knowledge?] of this world? For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe" (I Cor. 1:20-21).

How does our ability to reason serve us in our pursuit of happiness when our happiness includes knowing God, and our wisdom is mere foolishness to God? Must we lay aside reason to grasp by spiritual revelation the truth of salvation in Christ?

In the verses surrounding the ones quoted above, Paul makes it sound like human reasoning is futile in perceiving spiritual truth. Yet, Paul's own ability to reason was masterful! He says in verses 22 and 23, "For the Jews require a sign [revelation?], and the Greeks seek after wisdom: but we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness."

The Greeks didn't arrive at a knowledge of the monotheistic God by reason. God revealed himself to the Jews, yet even they couldn't understand how Jesus fit into the picture. Christianity appears to be a merging of two dichotomic paradigms, reason and revelation. Could Paul be saying that neither those operating by reason (Greeks), nor those operating by revelation (Jews) are able to comprehend the mystery of godliness because it takes both reason and revelation to know truth?

I am here at C of O because I want to be, not because I was coerced into coming. Maybe I resent being told what to do, but I have admitted myself to this institution because I don't seem to have the discipline to study consistently on my own. I must remember that when there is a clash of wills.

I don't like that with the passage of time and acquiry of wisdom we must let go the vessels that have brought us truth and poured out love. I don't like that as we pass through life, the bonds we form with fellow travellers are stretched and strained and broken by distance of time, space and circumstance. If I had it my way, I would surround myself with all the people I love, an ever-growing circle. My reality is that I must learn to carry with me the love shared and lessons learned, and to bring that love and truth to new friends everywhere I meet them.

Again, sheets in the dryer, and I'm getting online to post to LiveJournal.

I loathe monotony. I dread change. It is impossible to avoid either. A co-worker told me I wouldn't be normal if I didn't feel a little trepidation about the changes I'm facing. "But I have the feeling you were ripe for a change," she went on to say.

It's one thing to have your workspace destroyed by fire; another to leave a good job, nice coworkers to live as a penniless student on scholarships. I've never done anything that felt so rash. But it hasn't been a spur-of-the-moment decision I've made to move away to college. I've been weighing my options for two years and have considered the wisdom of some of my most trusted mentors.

Now, the news is leaking out at my office and church and people are beginning to tell me they will miss me. The guy I've been training to take my place at the office said, "Rebecca, you're be best co-worker, ever! I'm really glad you're going to be here until the end of June." Several at church have wondered what the music will be like when I leave. "We love the way you lead the worship songs." I have a place here. I'm loved and respected. I'm needed.

At school, I will have to prove myself to a whole new group. My peers will be 8 years younger than I; my student mentors will be younger than my little sister. That is the hardest thing to accept. I didn't relate well with 18 year olds when I was one; I'm not sure the age gap has closed much in the past few years!

"Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing" (James 1:3-4). It's going to stretch me. But if I'm already perfect, then why the need for change? I'm not perfect. I need to learn new things and how to get along in new surroundings. My pastor reminds me of a proverb: "A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men" (Proverbs 18:16).

A couple of weeks ago, while sifting through my pictures from Greece, I was engulfed by homesickness. "Hang college; I just want to go back!" I really think that if I hadn't already planned to enter school this fall, I would have applied for the Associates in Missions program to go back to Greece. Funny, it's easier to imagine myself heading back to Europe than across the state border! The decision to go to Greece was monumental at the time. It took all the faith I could muster. But God did a work in me through that experience that I wouldn't trade for any comfort of home. It's easy to imagine returning now because I have friends awaiting me there, and work to do. But there are friends to be made in Missouri, and plenty of work at Hard Work U. If God has called me (and I believe He has), He will work all things for my good and for His glory.

"Teaching Bible studies to a blind lady has been one of the most eye-opening experiences in my life. I am discovering that, in many ways, I am the one that has been blind."  Read more of Maya's insight on blindness.

Why Write? Natalie Nyquist's devotional on writing for the glory of God.

The seminar was excellent. I believe writing is a ministry and it was a blessing to be in the company of men and women who feel the same and are using their gifts to serve the Kingdom. The attendees were diverse in their experience. There were missionaries, pastors, editors, evangelists' wives, homeschool parents, and wanna-bes like me. :-) I met lots of wonderful new friends and renewed some old acquaintences.



Two nuggets I brought away from the conference:

*To write, we must first live. The effective writer must experience life and learn to express the truths found in daily living.

*Many people write because they feel a need to express themselves. Those called to a ministry of writing should write from an overflow of the Word in their lives.

Something to think about:
http://www.regenerateourculture.com/magazine/article/4

I was waiting on my sheets to dry and thought I'd post a long overdue update to my LJ.

The past few months have been a testing ground of my faith in areas that I will not delve into here. There is so much about faith and believing God that I don't understand. Why does it seem He leads us in a direction if it only leads to a dead end? That's the puzzler. I just have to trust that He has led me to this place and that for whatever reason, His purposes will be best fulfilled by this outcome. May I learn contentment in whatever state I find myself.

(Maybe someone will help me figure out how to post a message with just a link to my main message?)

I bought John Stevens' Red for Amy for Christmas and this Chris Rice song reminds me of his croonings, but I like it even better. Thanks, Chris, for the big smile it brings everytime I hear it!

Chris Rice - When Did You Fall lyrics
From the album Amusing

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at it’s joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

Chorus:
When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right there before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

Chorus:

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

I've been such a bear today, I really should be shot. Thank goodness there are no hunters in my neck of the woods...! I am such a control freak and when people don't operate according to my timetable, I get annoyed. Life happens, despite our best intentions. (Note to self: try to be more patient & understanding.)

My trip to Missouri was short and sweet. Mom was convalescing from surgery and couldn't accompany me as we'd planned, but I enjoyed the time alone. I love to pray in the car. The little church I found behind Lowe's was warm and friendly and the evangelist's message a timely one for me: "What will you do in the pause?" He reminded us of the importance of praising God between the time God speaks a promise to our hearts and the time He fulfills His promise to us. Doubt has no place with faith. I waiver in my faith when it looks like His promise is discounted by circumstance. But I shouldn't. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. In God's mind, it is already done!

I found a cheap Super 8 motel just up the hill and got a good night's sleep. Monday morning I headed over to the college at 9:30, since I wasn't sure where I needed to go. Andrea in admissions got me in before my 10 a.m. appointment. She asked me a few questions about my focus, goals & accomplishments. I voiced a few questions. She emphasized the importance the school places on personal character and asked me how I exemplified Christian character. (That was probably the hardest question, because I didn't want to boast!) She called in a young man named Chad to take me on a tour of the campus. He was friendly, helpful and made an extreme effort to answer my questions. I met one of the instructors in the English department, who was kind enough to spend a few minutes before her class, telling me about the English faculty. Everyone I met was friendly and the whole campus had a wholesome feeling. I stopped by the Keeter center on the way out to purchase some student-made gifts in the gift shop. The Keeter center is a huge log cabin style lodge, beautifully furnished, with a dining room that seats over 200 and a number of suites. Although it was recently constructed, I could just imagine elegantly attired edwardian couples vacationing there!

Overall, I felt quite at home and will be interested to see if I am accepted as a student. It will be a few weeks before I find out, so I will just have to be patient. :-)

Note new avatar: Paintshop is stuck on Greek characters and I can't figure out why! Thank goodness I know how to spell my name...!

Faith is a funny thing. Jesus likened it to a mustard seed, ie. something small, but with great potential. My faith has been like a little trickle and sometimes I wonder why it hasn't just dried up. It must be growing stronger; inspite of some discouraging news day before yesterday, I have felt faith bubbling up inside all day.

My copy of Streams in the Desert, the classic devotional by Mrs. Cowman, came three days ago. I didn't want to get revised version, but eBay had it cheap. Why haven't I heard of this book?? Where have I been all my life? I've only read three days' devotions and it is already on my top-ten favorites list.

On Monday, I will be interviewing with the dean of admissions at College of the Ozarks. I've prayed until it is a wonder I am not blue in the face that if this isn't God's will He will close the door. And yet, I feel that the door will be open and I will have to choose my path. Scary thought. I wish God would just write it on the wall!

I had an interesting thought, revelation, whatever, in regard to open doors. Have you ever stayed in a motel/hotel where two rooms adjoined by double doors? For the occupants of each room to communicate, both parties have to have their door open. If one party wishes to communicate, but not the other, there isn't any fellowship because one door is still closed. Sometimes I think God has His door wide open and we're standing there banging on our door, not realizing the latch is on our side. :-/ God has given me peace about opening the door to college if He opens it from His side.

Being accessible to each other
Leaves us vulnerable
And that we fear
Because
Our love is not perfected.
Perfect love
We are told
Casts out fear
And we see this manifest
In God's love for us.
God so loved that He gave
His Son,
Himself.
We scorned His love
And pierced
The only perfect heart.

Rifka, 2006

And in my heart I know
That this good day
It is a gift from You.
The world is turning in its place
Because You made it to.
I lift my voice
To sing a song of praise
On this good day.

(Fernando Ortega, De Jamesolo Music, 1999)

It's been a long day at the end of a long week wherein everything that could go wrong has. But it has been a good day. Amy and I took waffle makings over to our friend Karen's for supper with her kids, Kayla & Kaleb (ages 6 & 5). Karen's birthday is Tuesday. A single mom, she never takes time for herself. We wanted to give her the royal treatment. After everyone filled up on waffles and sausage and I started on the dishes, Amy snuck the vacuum out of the hall closet & swept the living areas. I collapsed on the couch and watched the two little Ks play King & Queen. Soon I had their wiggly bodies join me on the sofa and we read a few pages from de Angeli's The Door in the Wall. Amy gave Karen a pedicure, manicure and & massage. (My massage was of a different kind!)

Our birthday gift to Karen was no fancy gift basket or $50 gift card. Not even a birthday cake, though I did bring a card. But Karen and the kiddos loved it; and Amy and I had a ball. I forget how meaningful making memories is. It's easier sometimes to go buy a gift. No strings attached. But the existence that creates is a bleak one because there is never any real connecting between hearts. Karen has become a good friend in the past few weeks. She calls me at five a.m. so I will have time for prayer & devotions before work. She has been helping me seek the Lord on several issues. We share Bible verses and encourage each other in our spiritual walks. She says I have been an encouragement to her, but I feel like I am mostly on the receiving end. God is so good. His promise: "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom" (Luke 6:38). God's gifts are good and perfect, warm & wiggly.

I waste so much time procrastinating. I here now do highly resolve to do with expedience those things that I am so apt to avoid. The top ten follow in order as they occur to me, lofty and mundane together:

Ten: post to my livejournal & blogs, of which I have not a few!
Nine: delete & organize email as it is received.
Eight: answer letters in a more timely fashion.
Seven: wash the dishes immediately following a meal.
Eight: change my sheets weekly.
Seven: read my Bible.
Six: call a friend who is on my mind.
Five: show myself friendly to new acquaintances.
Four: memorize a Bible verse.
Three: save money.
Two: practice the piano.
One: believe God.

Amy and I are off to Texas for the weekend. We'll stop in OKC for brunch with Aunt Carole's family, head on to Glen Rose to meet my College Plus! coach, and from there wind our way down to Hamilton for a brief visit with grandparents & our dad. Our friend Miranda is back from 3 years in Tijuana with missionaries, so we're planning to meet up with her in Dallas Sunday morning, before heading home. Big trip! Are we crazy??

My heart is like a singing bird
Whose nest is in a water'd shoot;
My heart is like an apple-tree
Whose boughs are bent with thick-set fruit;
My heart is like a rainbow shell
That paddles in a halcyon sea;
My heart is gladder than all these,
Because my love is come to me...
Because the birthday of my life
Is come, my love is come to me.

-Christina Rossetti

I hit the quarter-century mark yesterday. My sister says it should have been the half-century mark (at least) since I was born old. I think I'm actually growing younger because I'm learning to laugh at myself. Ahem. I am glad that 25 is no longer considered "spinster". I can't remember how old Jane Austen was when she took to wearing a white cap, but it seems like she was frightfully young, 27, if that. Besides the old-maid status it supplied, the cap provided warmth in drafty houses. Since wintering in Athens, I am more sensitive to cold. Whoever decreed Greek winters mild were wrong. I've never felt the cold like I felt in the wind blowing of the Aegean sea. Our concrete-walled apartment was rigged with a radiator that came on for an hour, morning and night, long enough for us to get our baths. The rest of the time, we stayed bundled in coats and scarves.

My desk at work is in the bull pen (courtroom) of the old courthouse and directly under the vent. Comfortable when it's heat blowing out, but the AC blowing on my makes me ache. I was wearing shawls before they were trendy, and I'm wrapping up one now because it takes the chill off, not to be fashionable. Maybe a cap wouldn't be a bad idea, too...and who knows, Gap might succeed in a marketing campaign of the white cap and it will be the next fashion "must-have".

or, Tea Drinkers Anonymous

If the first step to recovery is admitting one has a problem, I can do that. I mean I can admit to an addiction; whether it is a problem or not, I can't say. I have a drinking problem, but it's not what you think. It's tea. I'm addicted to tea. I steep a cup first thing at five a.m.; I'll have another before I leave for work. I run upstairs within the first hour of work for one more. I drink a cup on my mid-morning break, another after lunch, a couple more during the afternoon; still more tea follows supper and at least one cup at bedtime. It isn't the caffeine that has me hooked; it's that warm, soothing, subtle brew we generically call tea. I like tea, all varie-teas: green tea, which tastes like grass (the kind in my yard), red tea, which a co-worker thought redolent of horse feed (how would she know?), white tea, chai, herbal tisanes. It's my mug, one of the few things on which I can get a grip. It's trading tales of the best place to buy tea in town: who has the cheapest price and what are the best brands. It's memories of tea in places far and near: being served a hot, syrupy brew by the Eritrean ladies at after Bible study in Athens, Mrs. Wheat's hospitali-tea, Zimbabwe-style, Betty's stiff brew of Lipton's, tea at two a.m. with a comiserating friend, afteroon tea at Mrs. Sherman's. Many of my co-workers drink tea. When I first started my job last January, I took my first break with mug in hand. "You're a tea-drinker!" someone approved on seeing the tag hanging out of my cup.

I did the unforgivable today: I laced my cup of Earl Grey with <gasp> coffee creamer. Though I prefer most teas unadulterated, Earl Grey just isn't complete without milk and sugar. There was no milk in the break-room fridge, so creamer would have to do. And it wasn't bad at all. Purists, please forgive me.

"Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea? How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea." - Rev. Sydney Smith

Amen.

"Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do which must be done, whether you like it or not. Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperence, self-control, diligence, strength of will, content, and a hundred other virtues which the idle never know."

~Charles Kingsley